I do not want to edit.
I do not want to revisit my novels.
I want them to magic themselves into readability and loveability.
Oh, right. That is not going to happen. So sad.
I have three manuscripts that need love and attention. They’re good. They’re not great. It makes me sad that I am sitting here, frittering away time that I REALLY need to use to do IMPORTANT THINGS (yes, that’s how those words look in my head–except they are also an angry red), including calling the mortgage company to find out if they are going to fix the mess they have made of my credit, my joint bank account, and my mental state. I swear they drove me into a seizure a few weeks ago. The doctor had to up my meds. (No, I’m not crazy, even though it feels like that sometimes. And, since I am officially neurologically broken, many people seem to think that means crazy. Boo.)
So there are many other things I need to do today before and after I edit. (Yes, I know I can’t edit all three books in one day–maybe parts of all three if I start feeling closed-in–that WOULD be nuts.) But first, I need to actually do something. I have my computer on. My legal-size notebook with yellow paper (so I know it is not “finished manuscript” material and, therefore, not needing to be perfect yet) is open next to me, and my purple pen is sitting on top with its cap off. I have hidden my phone.
So I should be all set, right? …Right?
Well, no. Today I am nervous. Yesterday, I was nervous. I was also nervous two weeks ago. I will probably be nervous forty years from now, when I’m half-senile and cannot remember why I’m nervous. (It runs in the family, but at least we all seem pretty happy when we’re off-planet. So there’s that.)
Fortunately for me, though, today I found a blog entry that really motivated me. Check this out:
First off, that’s an outstanding title. 😉 Second, if anything can get a girl moving, it’s reading something in a tone that is no-nonsense, yet humorous. We (as a people) often forget how good we have it. Even though, right now I am broke, broken, and sick (and nursing a 12-year-old whose sinuses and nose are so congested that he’s become a mouth-breather), I can take a step.
I can say: “Forget you, Feelings-of-Craptastic-ness! Forget you, Despair and Lethargy! I will accomplish these things!” And then I will write myself a list, so I do not forget what I am to accomplish today.
First on the list: Re-read Book One of the determined-to-be-a-trilogy, so I can make sure my characters are consistent. That would help.
Second: Fuss some more at the mortgage people who don’t know how their systems work. They like it when I call. I can tell.
But first: Open up Yellow Flags and get that puppy re-read!